At lunch one day, I watched the press coverage of Brett Kavanaugh’s sexual assault hearing. To be honest, I was puzzled by Kavanaugh’s uncensored rage against the accusations, even in the face of mounting evidence, the credible testimonies of those who claimed to be his victims and colleagues, and the watchful gaze of the public eye. If he truly stood firm in the belief of his own righteousness, I wondered, then what was there to be so angry about?

Later that afternoon I watched a TED Talk entitled “On Being Wrong,” delivered by speaker Karen Schulz. In her lecture, Schulz explains the logical pitfalls that fool many of us into believing that we are right—even when we are wrong.

I found myself drawn in by her use of anecdotes and fierce rhetoric. My favorite among these describes the pernicious extent to which many of us will go to defend our opinions, readily dismissing anyone who doesn’t agree as stupid, crazy, or malevolent. This helped me digest what I witnessed in the Kavanaugh hearings and prompted me to recall a time in my life when the fear of being wrong brought out the worst in me, too.

My best friend Christopher is a devout Catholic who openly expresses a deep interest in theology and Christian apologetics. My religious beliefs fall on the far opposite side of the spectrum—I am a staunch atheist, and, in the early days of our friendship I’m afraid I didn’t handle our debates with very much tact at all.

I remember how I regarded him and his opinions with open disgust. I belittled him, marginalized his beliefs, and justified it all with a sweeping sentiment of intellectual superiority. Following one heated debate that escalated to physical violence, I was forced to confront a waking nightmare: Not only was I dreadfully wrong in my treatment of Chris, and potentially wrong about my precious opinions, but I was wrong about who I thought I was, too.

As a progressive, I’ve always reviled bigotry—at least officially. When the day came that I punched my best friend in the face for simply having a Catholic opinion, I knew I had become what I have always hated. The realization was devastating to my self-esteem, though I now know it didn’t have to be.

The reality is that Chris is an educated, reasonable adult. In our many debates, he argued stances which were often more articulate and even more well-researched than my own. He consistently preserved his composure—even when I provoked him. He never judged me, even when he disagreed, which should speak volumes for his maturity and grace. He treated me with patience, forbearance, and respect, even during the countless occasions when I simply didn’t deserve it.

Chris showed me that offering respect and validation for the sincerely held beliefs of others—even when they contradict my own—is not a sign of a weak conviction, but of upright character instead. Leaving my mind open to the possibility of being wrong was only so threatening because I believed I was somehow infallible in the first place, and the fear that I might one day discover otherwise came forth disguised as anger.

Brett Kavanaugh is now an Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court, where he swears to uphold the ideals of fairness and objectivity. Two days before he was confirmed, he published an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal entitled “I am an Independent, Impartial Judge.” Reflecting on my mistakes, I can’t help but wonder if that avowal is fact, or just a feeling. Schulz’s discoveries in wrong-ology leave me with just one follow-up question: As a man who can do no wrong, how could he possibly know the difference?

 

WORKS CITED

 

Kavanaugh, Brett. “I am an Independent, Impartial Judge.” Wall Street Journal, 4 October 2018.

www.wsj.com/articles/i-am-an-independent-impartial-judge-1538695822. Accessed 12

October 2018.

 

Post, Robert. “Brett Kavanaugh Cannot Have It Both Ways.” Politico, 6 October 2018.

www.politico.com/magazine/story/2018/10/06/kavanaugh-confirmation-temperament-yale-dean-221086. Accessed 12 October 2018.

 

Schulz, Katherine. “On Being Wrong.” TED: Ideas Worth Spreading, TED Conference March

2011. www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong?language=en